Changing

I thought 2014 had been a year of changing for me but it seems now that 2015 is going to be that year. It hasn’t even been four months since the year started and I can already see how much things have changed. Maybe other people don’t see it, don’t notice I’ve changed, but I have. My way of viewing things has changed completely and so has my attitude in some aspects. I realised this last night when I came home from my friend’s birthday dinner.

Since the second semester started, even though I’ve been really busy and tired, I’ve been feeling really happy most of the days. Maybe it’s the tiredness that doesn’t give me time to focus on the not so happy thoughts. I don’t know if it’s that but honestly I don’t care. This semester I’ve gotten closer to more people at uni and I’m really starting to believe I might belong there.

Now back to last night… I saw a bunch of friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen in a while, and it was really good to be with them again. I had missed them and I had missed us together. We spent the night being our crazy, loud selves and catching up and I have to admit I had missed that part of my life. But as night went on, I realised something: I realised I finally didn’t care. Now, don’t get this wrong, I care about my friends and I care about what they think of me. I don’t, however, care about what other people that my friends consider their friends but I don’t consider mine think of me nor do I care about them anymore. And it has taken me long enough!

Now that I think about it, I think I finally closed a chapter that I have been trying to close for the past five or six years (wow, I can’t believe it has been that long) and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Other thing I’ve come to notice is that I’ve been feeling more self-confident. I’ve always been a really insecure person and I think I will always be but since 2015 started I’ve been feeling happier with myself. I don’t know what changed but I started accepting who I am, accepting my body and actually liking what I see. Of course there are days I feel more self-conscious than others but we all get that. Most of the time though, I like what I see, I like who I am, and that’s what matters.

I believe 2015 will bring a lot of changes and, if they are all as promising as the ones I talked about, I can already tell it’ll be a good year.