Today when I logged in on my account I was welcomed by a lovely notification.
My blog turned one year old today and I thought there wasn’t really a better way to celebrate than by making a blog post, talking about what this time meant to me.
I’m a really small blogger, I don’t have as many followers as some people do but I feel like that isn’t really important. I’ve achieved a lot in just a year, maybe other people don’t think so, but being on this side, knowing what I’ve done here, I’m really happy with where I stand after a year. My initial aim was to create this blog to share my thoughts when I felt like I had no one to turn to but then I realised I could make more of it, I could share everything I felt like sharing, everything I liked. Shopping hauls, book reviews, travel journeys, music favourites, personal posts, quotes… This blog has a bit of everything. If there’s something I want to share here, then I do it and I couldn’t be happier with how my blog has turned out.
This past year, since I started blogging, has been full of struggles and changes and this blog has helped me a lot. When I started, I felt lonely a lot of days, out of place at uni, some times I wasn’t even sure I was in the right course… I was also holding onto the past a lot, still missing some people who used to be my friends like five years ago; I drifted away from some of my friends. I think my main problem was myself though. I wasn’t really that fond of my appearance and of who I was in general. I wasn’t okay with who I was most of the times. Then, there was the fact that my brother was back in Germany and I was alone in this house, listening to my parents arguing and I wasn’t used to put up with it alone anymore. It wasn’t all bad though, I have to tell you that. Actually, I was pretty okay during the day, while I was busy, and if I was really tired by the time I went to bed and immediately fell asleep, then I didn’t have much time to let the negative thoughts take over. But the problem was those nights where I wasn’t sleepy at all and all it took would be one negative thought for it all to crumble down.
Music helped me a lot. Music is probably what helped the most but blogging did too. I didn’t even have to write anything about my problems on here. It was just the simple fact that I could if I wanted. I did make a couple of rants on here when it got too much, but not many. Having a blog also meant having something I could work on, something to look forward to at the end of the day.
The best thing about this year of blogging was watching myself grow up. A couple of times I went to read old posts and I always noticed how things had changed within me. During this time, slowly at first and then it was more and more noticeable for me, I started accepting my body and from there it didn’t take me long to accept myself. And I think that’s probably the best change in me. I’m not a self-confident person, far from it, I’m rather insecure, but self-acceptance is the first step towards it, I’ve learned that. Along with self-acceptance, I also stopped being afraid of being myself, but I guess one thing leads to the other, because once you accept who you are and actually like it, you don’t have to be afraid of being it anymore. Another thing that took a lot of effort was to stop caring about what other people thought and put myself first and I’m quite proud of myself for this, you know? It’s an everyday effort though, I still have to work on it everyday, because you can’t just bring yourself to not care. It’s the little things though: you want to wear something you wouldn’t normally wear, then do it! You want to dye your hair but you’re afraid of being judged, do it anyway! These were just two of the things I told myself a lot during the year. It’s really good though, to be happy with who you are, to dress how you want, to accept yourself. It helped when I shared some of these things on here and felt accepted.
These last few months have shown me that it’s a work in progress. I’m currently working on being more sociable at uni, but it’s a good effort. I was recently told: “I didn’t know you that well but you’re really cool” and it’s a really nice thing to hear! I’m not saying that everything is good all the time, that I don’t feel sad or lonely. No, it’s just that it’s good to see how things improved in general.
On my blog, throughout this first year, you could witness the changes. I went from posts like Hello, and goodbye… and Everything I Didn’t Say to posts like Changing and It’s okay… (this post is one of my favourite I’ve ever written because it’s really personal and I put my heart on it!) or even this post I’m writing right now.
To finish this blog post, I just want to say I’m really proud of my little blog! It’s a bit of me and even though I’ve been really busy lately, it has a really important place in my life! Also, I’m happy that I have a place where I can share all my adventures traveling and I really do hope that I can travel more so I can keep sharing it on here! I didn’t really plan on this post being so long. I was just supposed to do a little review on this year blog-wise, but I couldn’t talk about what happened on my blog without talking about what happened on my life this whole time. Using WordPress’s words, I hope I can keep flying with you for a long time! Thank you if you do read my blog, thank you if you follow me, it does mean the world!
Now I’m going to leave before I get too emotional…
Until next time,